stuck

I just feel stuck like super glue
Its like a never ending flu.

I feel frozen on thin ice
Drowning with any movement no dice.

My head is spinning like a psyclone
No where to go not even my home.

Its a numbing sensation at the point
All I want to do is roll up a joint.

I have a roof over my head but feel homeless,
Never thought I could be striped and labelled worthless.

Drowning in my own tears
which seem significant to my fears.

I just want to make it silent
How can I do so without making it violent?

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is blood thicker than water?

They say family is forever
Do or die through thick or thin.
But never have I ever
Said that with a grin.

Blood is thicker than water
But I don’t know if they would shed blood to save me.
I know I would I am their sister; daughter
But I guess we aren’t a real family you see.

Six strangers put together called family
In competition with no support.
Having snake movements like they were top agents from Langley
Never come through always abort.

Everybody sees fakes smiles and unity
But all it really is, is anger jealousy and discontent.
Actions, reactions based on the views of the community
Traditional views displaced from a brown descent.

Conforming as a women in the 70s but living in the 21st Century
Prisoner in my own home with no sense of privacy.
Living out a lifesentence in a state penitentiary
All that is left is no soul and this vacancy.

Family can’t be changed or exchanged
If I could I know a name or two to be fitting.
The only feelings that exist are estranged
And being wrong is the only thing they have a problem admitting.

I guess I got a shitty hand dealt
And the only possible solution is to learn.
Show them emotions they never felt
Through the love they havent earn’d.

bobbypins

There’s something about you that I crave
That has woken me from this seldom cave.
I yearn for your soft touch and lingering kisses
I hope this transpires in me being your Mrs.

You overlook my flaws and see the tainted beauty
But what you don’t realize is that you’re the real cutie.
You make my heart beat fast and slow
With you I can always go with the flow.

I wouldn’t mind waking up to you every day
Every moment with you is no work N’ just play.
You make my life colorful like abstract art
I will always love you with the depths of my heart.

instability

No amount of sleep in the world could cure the tiredness I feel,
If only my brain would stop for a second and I can take the wheel.

Stability is what I lack the most ,
Its like Im drifting like a ghost.

My head is pounding like someone dropped a hammer,
All I can do is curse and say is damn him.

Being alone in my inner sanctuary,
Is like laying in the mortuary.

Abusing and hitting things bring me the pain for those things I cannot feel.
It just makes everything more real.

I just want to stay afloat in the ocean
And disappear with its motion.

resurrection

It had been too long since I last touched your warm, smooth skin, smelled your skin bracer original scented aftershave that makes my heart sink. I wanted to take my time and memorize every inch of you because I don’t know if the opportunity would present itself again. I thought to my self and contemplated if you had any clue as what you did to me… what i felt whenever i had the smallest glimpse of his body. I get the most electrifying thrill when he starts to undress and I see his member trying to come out and play; not to mention the ungodly desire that fills me when I catch him staring at my chest.

I love his body. I love touching it, caressing it, licking it, and tasting it. I love the smell, the heat, and the texture.

This time I let him start… I just laid there watched his passion unwrap me and watched as he gazed into my eyes as he would pleasure me. it was like a steamy hot scene from a movie except the lights weren’t dimmed. I never try to let you please me because I feel like I don’t deserve it, thats why I always push away. But then the desire to feel connected to you would overpowers and I would give in. What can I say your pretty god damn good at the things you do, and only seems to have gotten better…when you take charge my arousal level increases because even though I’m a dominant individual I LOVE being dominated. I feel as though the longer we’re apart the better you’ve gotten or maybe because not experiencing that feeling all the time made me enjoy it and remember it more.

Then it was my turn, I kissed you deeply, rubbing my tongue against yours. the kiss turned ravenous with want, need, and desire. Before I lost my head, however, I pulled back, sucking on your bottom lip and looked into your passion-glazed eyes. I tortured you with my tongue, maintaing eye contact the whole way down your soft, supple skin. I could feel your member graze my body as I made my way down your core. My hardened breasts were skimming your body as i moved from your neck to your lower abdomen. when i reached his member, I took his precious jewels in my hand, lightly and slowly massaging them, then again with my lips, and I could see the enjoyment on your face. Then as I licked your groin you cringed from the sensation it brought you. Needless to say what followed after, but the feeling was magical. The level of connectedness was incomparable and wished I could forever experience this feeling. The feeling of wanting and being wanted on an emotional, physical and psychological level. A feeling that no matter how many hours and days have passed it will always feel like the first time; reborn and rejuvenating. It is a passion that everyone lusts for but not many experience it like I can.

Sex used to be something I used to get away from reality that I fiended it so much that the utter act became meaningless. But, you resurrected that feeling; maybe because we fell so deep unwittingly and the unexpected created the greatest love affair. So thanks for revitalizing that feeling and making me feel whole more ways than one. I love you in every way imaginable.

Regardless you are the best risk I’ve taken and continue to take. Theres a rush everytime I sneak away to see your face and every time I kiss you, its identical to falling from the highest point on a roller coaster. Theres only day by day.

karma is beautiful

I found the warmest feeling outside in a crowded parking lot
And every moment after that has never been bleek.
In moments my feelings were caught
Cause he brought the one thing I seek.

Endless chats till wee hours of the night
Yet never running out of topics.
Its as if I boarded a flight
High as the clouds on narcotics.
Express trip to happiness
Pulled out of the pit of darkness.

Every moment spent together is never  enough
With every breath taken away by his soft lips
Counting down the days to see him again are tough
Relishing in thought of moving in unison with his hips.

I can’t stop smiling when you’re around me
Just the mere thought of you makes me grin.
Your voice is soothing like a hot cup of tea
Loving me endlessly even with my double chin.

It’s unfathomable how we are too alike
It’s like we are two people but one soul.
Whenever I have doubts I tell them to take a hike
You always give me support like a shoe with a sole.

My state of mind is never clear at home
But when im with you its like breathing fresh mountain air.
Like the city of love, Rome
We are a dynamic pair.

Your personality is by far your best attribute
With brown eyes I can get lost in.
The whole package with nothing else to contribute
Your very essence brings goosebumps to my skin.

You see me through my flaws and follies
Everything I could ask for n’ all of the above.
Indescribable happiness like I popped molly’s
I guess that’s what happens when you have true love.

she loved once… she will love again

I don’t know how to say this.. its been a feeling that im having a rough time explaining. I guess I was waiting for the right time to say it, but there is no right time and there will never be a right time… and if I continue to wait for the right time it may never come and all it will be is an opportunity missed. So im seizing the moment and want to say… i love you :/ The reason why im being so held back is because ive been in an relationship prior to you and ive been in love…. or thought I was idk.. to me I feel you can love many ppl but only truly love one person. Im not saying you are my true love, but if u turn out to be.. but as I was saying the thing is if I tell you I do love you then I think back on my past and it feels that none of it was real, how can I love someone a year ago and now another… I begin to think was it ever even real love or is this what we have real. I dont know but this feeling I have towards you is warm, like a smile that’s never ending. Thats how I am around you; a never ending smile. You dont know how many times my face I go to sleep with my face hurting because I laughed or smiled too much. Every moment spent with you goes by too fast and everything we decide to do ends with endless conversation and kisses that aren’t worth forgetting. I know I am professing my feelings towards you and in our relationship its always you that has been so outward and open about them whereas, I have a facade behind everything I say cause I dont want to get attached. To be honest I am scared to fall for you and scared to get my heartbroken…again. I know u see this confident person with strong sense of self but deep down im a weak insecure girl who’s afraid. I dont want to fall for you unless you are ready to catch me and yes I can honestly say atm my feelings have surpassed where ur feelings are.

I honestly never was able to connect with a person on so many levels and not try. I never had to continously fight for ur attention cause you give it unconditionally. I know I say ew and stfu and other stuff when u say cute shit like that but deeep down im jumping up and down inside and smilling so hard my teeth are about to fall out. Every time we talk no matter about what its always a long meaningful conversation. Time always flies around you and every waking moment talking to you seems even shorter. The fact that we are so much alike means ill never get bored of u. You give me something to look forward to whether it be talking to you, snappchatting you or talking to you on the phone. My friends and coworkers constantly ask me why I am so happy and it’s because of you. Every time we talk and say goodbye I want to say those three words and let u know day in and day out how much I feel about you and that you are the number one guy in my life. I want to show you off to my friends and maybe even family (depending on circumstances) ; basically everyone and show them that this guy *pointing at you, makes me happy. I want to let people know that this is the guy that brings butterflies in my stomach everytime we kiss and makes my heart beat faster with anticipation everytime we touch.

I know its absurd weve only seen eachother a couple times and met recently but I cant shake this feeling. I tried shaking it and tried making you someone thats just a fling, but you ruined all of that. So much for the five amendments; I guess by you breaking rule five threw the whole rule book out the window. I didnt want to be the first person to say it and scare you off becuase I know the type of raw and intense emotion I bring. But you know what I dont care I rather scare you off now then later on when my feelings are stronger. And with you, you make it so much easier to say it cause we can be open without the awkward silence or moments. But the way I talk about you and constantly smile they know that im in denial and that I have fallen for you and just havent accepted it. Every moment spent that day I thought to myself, I wouldnt mind waking up seeing your face every morning.

So basically what im saying is yes, I LOVE YOU, and I hope this doesn’t overwhelm you and I hope you stick around for the long term because im 100 percent invested in this relationship.