I can get my head turned by a good-looking guy as much as the next girl. But sexy doesn’t impress me. Smart impresses me, strength of character impresses me. But most of all, I am impressed by kindness. Kindness, I think, comes from learning hard lessons well, from falling and picking yourself up. It comes from surviving failure and loss. It implies an understanding of the human condition, forgives its many flaws and quirks. When I see that in someone, it fills me with admiration. ― Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies
This picture was taken not too long ago and still to this day a picture I constantly look at. I stare for countless hours and reminisce, filtering through our memories in chronological order from every laugh, tear, hug and kiss. This picture is a time stamp of when I fell irrevocably head over heels in love. To be honest I still am in love with this person, even though we parted ways eight months ago. Moreover, this was a defining moment in my life because in that moment in time I had everything a girl could ever dream of. A companion, listener, bodyguard, lover and a true friend; these are mere words that will never surpass what he still means to me. Our relationship was short-lived and the days we’ve spent side by side and countries apart flew by faster than the speed of light. Why is this person so important to me you ask? He showed me what love is and the power of raw emotion; he showed me that a person like me scarred and out of place could be loved. I always had the initial impression that I will always be incapable of love and being loved because I didn’t deserve that affection from anyone. I guess growing up with a lack of affection made me feel this way and in turn I felt I deserved nothing more. He loved me unconditionally, through my best and worst, more importantly my flaws – and believe me there are many. This put me in a constant state of giving because no act can ever repay him for his love. Now it is just time that keeps us apart; and, if it is true love, we will find each other once more in time. Until that time comes, I will be waiting.
Love can be crazy, unexplainable and sometimes unforgiving in its relentless pursuit to grab hold of your heart and squeeze until you’re sure you can’t take one more moment of pain; but at the end of the day, when the turmoil, the madness and the passion fades, you’re left facing only the reflection of yourself in the mirror. When you get down to the Heart of the Matter, it really is all about forgiveness.
Forgiving others for being careless with your heart…forgiving yourself for the mistakes you’ve made…forgiving the past for its unrelenting need to drag you into a future without the person who once stood by your side. It’s all about forgiveness, and the ability to let go of those that are no longer there. Despite the blows to the pride and the blows to the heart and the very human need to shield yourself from even one second of pain…the pain reminds you that you’re real, and it reminds you that it’s time to move on and to let go of the something or the someone that no longer needs you. It is time to surrender yourself, make peace, and let go. Their part in the story is through…the curtain has closed.. but when you look closer, you will see that underneath it all is a glimmer of hope, and love, and truth and happiness…just waiting to be discovered. As much as they might have hurt you, they also helped you, by showing you how strong you REALLY are. Thank them. Thank them for changing you, strengthening you, showing you the way…even if they didn’t stay. Thank all those people who have come and gone, have let you down and have hurt your pride for they are the ones who have shown you the true meaning of love, friendship and trust. When you can thank someone for the experience and what it has taught you, that is true forgiveness.
So i wanna say thank you for showing me what love is and what it feel like to be have your heart beating 100 km/hr every moment spent with you. I will always love you and if its true, we will find each other again in time.