Darkness

Sorrow, sadness is all I ever feel
It’s as if happiness isn’t real.
I feel like im placed in a dark room with  matches and no light
And each match lit brings illumination but then gone .. poof.
No matter how much I kick, scream, cry and fight
There is no use, hopeless, and aloof.

Happiness is what im lurking
Even if it’s small or for a moment.
Because at least temporarily im smirking.
And in that lapse of time I don’t need to rely on my flovent (inhaler).

Sleepless nights and mind filled with heavy thought
How I wish for permanent silence.
Of all the sicknesses, insomnia is the one I caught
Im in turmoil for self destruction and violence.

Consumed and alone is a numbing sensation
Leaving any type of feeling oh so irrelevant.
But all you ever see is me acting all benevolent
Selfless, and cheery with admiration.

Sometimes anger replaces the anguish
With rage pulsating through my veins.
A scorching fire I cannot extinguish
Because the immolation brings wanted pains.
Physically feeling something is better than the emotional carnage
A wound not small enough to be covered by a bandage.

Sorrow, sadness is all I ever feel.
It’s as if happiness isn’t real.
I feel like im placed in a dark room with  matches and no light.
And each match lit brings illumination but then gone .. poof.
No matter how much I kick, scream, cry and fight.
There is no use, hopeless, and aloof.

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